I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
