Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
