I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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