This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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