I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
