Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
