oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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