dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
