thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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