That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
it's like heaven, but drunker
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
