i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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