I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
