can we get nightvision for the apartment?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize