i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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