I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You need a sexual gate keeper
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
