new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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