i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
