Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize