Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize