We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
