at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
