For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize