Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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