Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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