he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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