she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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