Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
But break dance skills will only take you so far
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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