Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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