My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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