I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
