i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
