im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
