Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
