I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
they need to just BURY HIM!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
