Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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