I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
