So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
