Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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