Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
