then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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