Me too!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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