The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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