Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
