When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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