areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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