if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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