i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize