eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
