plz talk dirty to me
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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