Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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