3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize