I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
