I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
