I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize