DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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