Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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