she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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