Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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