so that wasnt chicken after all
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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