So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
