I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
