pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
His hands were made for my vagina.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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