then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize