I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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