I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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