idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize