Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
