Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
