My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
