Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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